Dear Fishing…(A Letter From One Of Your Most Ardent Admirers)
You and I go back a long way, Fishing. If it weren’t for you, it would have taken me much longer to afford my first epic flying. Who knew that so many people needed those lovely Golden Fishsticks, but were too lazy to fish them for themselves? Those fish sticks were “golden” indeed!
We’ve spent so many hours together. You were there when I hung out with friends and talked, giving us something to do at the same time! What better way to pass the time than to hang out with a buddy and do something useful? People always wondered why I spent so much time with you. They didn’t understand us, Fishing. It’s okay, though. We had each other. I devotedly pursued you, through crocolisks, a fishing hat. You helped me meet Mr. Pinchy and my crab pet. Eventually we found a sea turtle together. Remember those hours by the Dalaran fountain? I loved catching all those coins with you. You never did give me a jeweled fishing pole, but that’s okay. A friendship isn’t just about what you stand to gain.
You helped to bolster us through countless raids. The magical combination of fish – lovingly prepared – helped us all be smarter and faster. I prepared feasts for people in battlegrounds, I carried a stash of fish on me at all times. Magic keeps them from smelling, you know. I was so excited to see how you’d changed after the Cataclysm! I know more people had been paying attention to you. They wanted to make you “more fun.”
Fishing… I don’t understand why you’ve been so cold to me this expansion. I hate to admit it, but I don’t like your new face. I don’t want to pluck crabs from the canal. Your feasts used to be available for everyone who had the tenacity to learn how to make them. Now, I can’t even use your bounty to make them until my friends and I have caught ten thousand other fish from pools. I don’t mind spending that much time with you, Fishing. Really, I don’t. I thought it wouldn’t be so bad. I was consoled by the fact that we could spend time together while I prepared my own food, but Fishing – there seems to be some grave oversight. The fish I need don’t congregate in pools.
You’ve put me between a rock and a hard place, Fishing. I can’t make your feast until I’ve fished many, many fish – and the fish I need won’t help me to do that. So I’m seeing other fish. I thought I could use that time to build up a stock of the fish I need to make feasts once I’m able to make them. Imagine my dismay when I realized that one of those three fish also can’t be found in pools.
I’m trying to be understanding, Fishing, I really am. I caught three hundred fish last night. I want to love you, but you’re really trying my patience. All of the fish for fish feasts used to be found in various pools in different zones. Anyone could learn to make a fish feast, and then that fish feast could be shared with friends. Now the feasts, once made, are stuck with you – I can’t even stock my guild bank with them – that is, assuming we ever fish up enough fish to learn the recipe in the first place. Do you really think that forcing yourself on people like this is going to make you more popular?
You still have a few things going for you, Fishing. Catching volatiles from you is positively sexy. That appeals to the enterprising crowd, you can use that! All you have to do is consolidate some of your fish into pools – they like to school, don’t they? It shouldn’t be too hard – and once you’ve done that, put some fun things in your fishing bags again. I recognize that the awards have to be applicable to characters of all levels. Still, I miss the days when I felt like you cared about me, Fishing. If we have to spend enough time together for me to catch another four thousand fish from pools, I wish we could both be enjoying it. As it stands, I’m not sure that I will. Can’t we go back to the way things were?
p.s. – At the very least, please lose the Murglesnout.